Feeling Pretty, or…

Why do we do this?

Why do we paint our fingernails? Why do we want them long and pretty?

When we paint our nails, we are trying to feel more feminine. We go to salons and pay a lot of money to make our nails amazing. Women and men get their nails done to feel good. We feel that everything is new and our lives have changed for the better.

There is a lot that I can talk about here as to why we do our nails, but I want to talk about why I learned to do own my nails.

What Made Me Invest My Time & Money in My Nails?

I was curious to see if I could do my nails myself. So I did. Like so many other things in my life, I just tried. I tend to be bold and have no fear when it comes to doing creative things. I make mistakes and move forward, which is just a generalization of the Creative Process.

For just over a year, I have practiced and practiced. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and many of the sets I did just look goofy. I’d wear them for a week and would change them because I couldn’t get them perfect. I made serious messes and drew blood more than once with my nail drill. So, why did I do it?

My health has been getting worse. I don’t like to focus on illnesses, but real quick, I’ll give you an idea of what I’m going through. I was diagnosed with five rare diseases, then recently a sixth and seventh. Most of the conditions involve the autonomic nervous system. My body wants to shut down. The rare diseases have caused me to have other conditions too, like diabetes, fibromyalgia, kidney disease, liver issues, and more. I take 26 pills a day with 20 prescriptions. I was never one to take medicine that would harm my body, but in shear desperation I’ve accepted taking them to improve my quality of life.

There are a couple of the dis-eases that impact me more than others on a daily basis. I spend most of my time at home, unable to get out much. Making art has been very difficult. I haven’t been sculpting, painting, drawing, making gourd art, or any other creative thing.

I needed to do something creative besides my writing. I have authored 16 books and am currently on another series. But, I still needed something to make creatively. I was missing the creative moment where I don’t have to think, stress, or focus too hard on anything.

So, I Started Doing My Nails & Running from Life

Here’s the thing, I started doing my nails to fill the creative void I had in my life. However, I was really running from my calling and purpose. With long nails I can’t practice my violin or piano and I can’t type quickly. So, I wasn’t writing very much and I stopped breathing in the sounds of music I made, well, I’ll call it music. I stopped doing two of the things in my life that give me joy and hope.

Joy and hope are a must for living in this world. I had somehow forgotten that. I allowed myself to get obsessed with doing something I enjoyed without thinking about what it cost me.

So, my nails are short and I’m ready to do things I was made to do.